Grief is just unspent love

I have come to learn that this thing we call grief is really just love. It is love for the person we have lost, but we can no longer give to that person because they are no longer with us. All of the unspent love gathers in our eyes and pours forth as tears. It collects in our chest to form that hard, painful lump that makes it hard to breathe. It gathers in our throats and makes our voice catch all hard and sharp when we speak about them.

We don't stop loving someone when they die. If we did, there would be no such thing as grief. That love turns to longing and that longing turns to pain when it cannot be satisfied because the thing we are longing for is the return of the person whom we miss so terribly.

Some days I am OK. I can go one entire day now without crying, without feeling sorry for myself, without experiencing that crushing feeling of despair, and that is progress. But then there are so many more days that are like today. The grief is too much and it rises in my chest like a wave, bursting out of me in tears and sobs and this overwhelming feeling of despair. I have all of this unspent love and it is crushing me.