I haven't written in a while, and here's why
Life has somehow managed to get even more chaotic than ever. Just to make ends meet I have had to take on more than one other job. My days now begin at 4am and they end at irregular times each day. In addition to the extra stress it is now the holiday season and I hate the holidays.
Over the weekend my husband and I went back to my home to visit my family. This is our first Thanksgiving since my mother died and so we wanted to be together. It was stressful to get the funds together to pay for the trip and the trip itself was incredibly sad and disappointing. My family is an absolute mess and they always have been, but after the antics of this weekend, I am almost certain that my husband now wants nothing at all to do with his in-laws every again, and I frankly don't blame him.
And now, as the first of yet another new month approaches, I am scrambling to get the money together for rent and bills. There just aren't enough hours in the day for me to make the money I need to keep us afloat and I am not sure how much longer I can sustain this situation on my own. The stress I feel ruins my appetite and my sleep, so I can't sleep well and I can't eat. The toll this is taking on me physically could cause problems for me being able to work because the longer this goes on and the more sick I feel, the less able I will be to get to work and take care of business. I need to hit the lottery. I need a freaking break. I need to be one half of the income for my household instead of absolutely all of it. But in any case I need an outlet so I'm back, for whatever that is worth.
Over the weekend my husband and I went back to my home to visit my family. This is our first Thanksgiving since my mother died and so we wanted to be together. It was stressful to get the funds together to pay for the trip and the trip itself was incredibly sad and disappointing. My family is an absolute mess and they always have been, but after the antics of this weekend, I am almost certain that my husband now wants nothing at all to do with his in-laws every again, and I frankly don't blame him.
And now, as the first of yet another new month approaches, I am scrambling to get the money together for rent and bills. There just aren't enough hours in the day for me to make the money I need to keep us afloat and I am not sure how much longer I can sustain this situation on my own. The stress I feel ruins my appetite and my sleep, so I can't sleep well and I can't eat. The toll this is taking on me physically could cause problems for me being able to work because the longer this goes on and the more sick I feel, the less able I will be to get to work and take care of business. I need to hit the lottery. I need a freaking break. I need to be one half of the income for my household instead of absolutely all of it. But in any case I need an outlet so I'm back, for whatever that is worth.
Comments
Post a Comment